The pregnancy test taking monster

A few days later, I started feeling some pinchy pains in the front of my uterus, and just overall exhausted. Some say you shouldn’t take a home pregnancy test before you go in for your blood beta Hcg test, because it can give you a false result, but I couldn’t help myself. I picked up a few tests over the weekend and took one prepared for it to be negative since it might be too soon – 5 days after my transfer. I peed on the test and placed it out of my reach while I sat on the edge of the bathtub and waited for the result. After a few minutes had gone by, I grabbed the test, pulled it in front of my face, and slowly peeked through my squinched-shut eyelids at the tiny digital screen…


I felt a wave of relief come over me, filled with as much joy and excitement as nervousness…and sat there in awe…it ACTUALLY worked! After all this time something is going right! I ran out of the bathroom into the kitchen where “T” and “A” were making lunch and showed them. I sat in disbelief all through lunch then texted all my sisters and my parents and “T”’s sister and mom. Everyone was super excited.

“I”’s prom was that evening, and as she finished getting ready and her date came to pick her up and I took 20,000 photos of them, I thought forward to a day in the future when we might be doing this with another little girl, and “I” would be there to help her little sister get ready…and the visions of our family growing and loving each other filled my heart with warmth.

Over the next few days I turned into a pregnancy test-taking monster. I took them morning and night, I couldn’t get enough. I analyzed the darkness of the lines, and joined message boards of other women doing IVF to chat with them about this symptom or that symptom and compare photos of pregnancy tests. When I headed to the doctor’s office for my blood test that Tuesday, I felt confident and happy that I was going to get a good phone call and everything was finally going my way.

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After my test, about an hour and a half later, my phone lit up with the clinic’s phone number. I answered and squeaked out a hello…and it was one of the nurses on the other end:

“I am going to make your day…you’re pregnant!”

I almost passed out. I somehow informed her it was great news, I am not even sure what I said, and she told me my beta number was 97 and that I needed to come back in two days for a follow up blood test. I told the few coworkers that knew what I was going through and everyone celebrated. It was finally my turn.

That night, “I” and “A” were at their mom’s house and “T” and I went out to dinner to celebrate. I enjoyed pouring over the menu and googling the things that I couldn’t have because of ingredients that were off limits for pregnant people. We discussed how we were going to rearrange the bedroom situation at the house to accommodate for a nursery. Since I would be safely in my second trimester by July, we would plan a 4th of July announcement about “Our Little Firecracker”. It was all becoming so real.

By the time we got home and I went in to change my clothes, I noticed when I used the restroom a little hint of brown blood on the toilet paper. I was not immediately alarmed, because I knew from all my research that there were lots of reasons there could be spotting in early pregnancy and it was very normal. I had also been having a little bit of cramping, which is also very normal as your uterus expands as soon as it gets the hormone signal that a baby is coming. I wasn’t worried.

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